upcoming adventure: Expedition Blue Planet

Alexandra Cousteau is coming to Raleigh as part of Expedition Blue Planet and I have the privilege of attending a Benefit fundraiser to learn more about the critical water issues across the U.S.
At first this news was a bit overwhelming and intimidating. What do I know about water? The Neuse River? Alexandra Cousteau? The legendary Jacques Costeau? Blue Legacy?
But what an amazing opportunity to learn! To discover! To find out and explore!

I began doing some googling today - and came across some interesting tidbits about Jacques Cousteau. He's been referenced in over a dozen different (fairly well-known) songs, he's been quoted in several movies, he has quite a collection of books and documentaries. A quote that really struck me: "When one man for whatever reason, has an opportunity to lead an extraordinary life, he has no right to keep it to himself." In reading these words, the vast unknown transformed into something tangible and personal. I am inspired and curious. I have no idea where this search is going to lead me, but I'm already liking the looks of it. More to come...

tuesdays thoughts: more of this, less of that

Living less in want, and more in action is a wonderful way to be. My focus is finally shifting from all the stuff I want, the iphone, drinks out at the bar, etc. and towards what I can do more of, running, writing, drawing, etc. These lusts became my first priority. I dreamt about how much better life would be if only I had an iphone- it's apps would make doing everything so much easier! Yoga at the touch of a button! An easy way to count calories! A digital library at my finger tips any time of the day or night- think how literate I'd become! Instant blogability every time I had a witty thought, wouldn't the world just love me then! Oh, the possibilities were endless! Oh, but only if I had that phone! And without it- everything was just less. No happiness for me! Just another month that had come and gone with little to no "expendable income."

Time to stop obsessing over want I can't have and grab a hold of what I do have.

this is their story. part 1.

She was 17 when she decided to run away from home. She earned the right. Her parents were "catholics" ie. they didn't believe in birth control. But they sure did believe in abuse, neglect, and abandonment. There were 7 of them. One boy. Six girls. The boy, one of the eldest, had tourettes and a addiction to drugs. Of the youngest girls, one was mentally challenged. Their aunt and uncle, the only saving grace, took pity on them, as they had no children of their own. Falling towards the bottom of the totem pole, her piggy bank robbed by her older brother, her time robbed by her disabled sister, and her heart broken when all the older siblings flew the coop.

He was 20. Been with the same girl since middle school. A dream come true. Except she was jewish. And he was the farthest thing from it. A red headed Ramirez. That carried a connotation that we know nothing of now. Mexican, Indian, Scottish, Irish = Catholic. But, if he was willing to convert, the world lay at his feet. Her parents owned a restaurant in the city, across from a hospital, and they had acquired a solid bit of wealth. In fact, they had already purchased high ticket items a dishwasher, refrigerator, washer and dryer, for the young couple and kept them stashed in their basement waiting for their wedding day. Paired with a promise to provide the means for college, and a prosperous career as a lawyer. This was his dream. Until he decided that he did not want to live indebted to someone else.

questioning.

sometimes the questions are infinite. sometimes that's ok.

run for your life.

whew! Does it ever get easier?! I feel like more often than not, the first ten minutes of every run is like going to the dentist- you know you need to- but good lord it's still awful. I completed, somewhat reluctantly, an hour run this afternoon... it was the guilt that pushed me... all the cocktails, the milkshake and french fries... too many calories that need to be exhausted. But about 40 minutes in, while climbing a rather long and steady hill, I managed to lock my eyes straight ahead, the voices in my head shut off, and my body took over. I've been running for my whole life, haphazardly for the last ten years, my body knows how to run. My legs know how to pump up a hill, they know when to shuffle with small steps, they know when to take long strides and dodge holes. They know how to communicate with my lungs, which are working hard, pulling in oxygen, pumping it through my body. They know how to communicate with arms, to pull myself forward. My body knows how to run, I just need to learn how to let it. Then I think running for an hour will become easier.

going the extra mile

I wanted to turn around and go home. It was 88 degrees at 8 o'clock tonight, with such stifling humidity that I felt like a gnat drowning in a vat of honey. I'd had a lethargic day, and knew that I needed to get in a good long run, but I could barely lift my legs and my back was tied up in knots from the cross-training I had done over the weekend.

Upon leaving the house I found myself heading right towards my 30 minute route, and had to quickly redirect myself, towards the farmer's market it was. If I am going to run a marathon I can't keep being a wuss. I reached my half way point. "I want to go home" were the only words echoing in my mind. Just as I reached the corner I heard another voice say "ok" but it wasn't an "ok, I give you permission to turn around" it was an "ok, I hear you and I acknowledge that going home would be nice... but I also want to keep running." And with that I crossed the street.

Just as I crossed the street a cool breeze blew, the first, and only, of the night. A few yards past that two of the most adorable raccoons imaginable, their bodies no larger than my running shoe, came out across the fence and into the tree. Then there were two bunnies, and a doe. I guess dusk = dinner time. Had I turned around sooner, I wouldn't have been in those places at that time and I would have missed it.

I often dismiss Raleigh for it's lack of grandeur. We're not D.C or NYC. We're not Seattle or Portland. But to live in a city where I can bike to a coffee shop or walk to a bar, and then just a block the other direction experience wildlife and woods is a pretty remarkable balance, one that is worth going the extra mile for.

tuesdays thoughts

after a weekend at the beach i feel both refreshed, and a bit of course.

life has a way of moving, with or without you, it seems.

deadlines. bills. chores. laundry. birthdays. work. holidays.

it's hard to maintain control.