It happens.

It happens. Life happens. Shit happens. Good things happen and bad things happen.
People are born. People pass away. People fall apart. People make changes.
Sometimes it feels like changes make people. Sometimes it feels like there's more change than stability. Sometimes that's hard, even when the change is for the better.
Nothing is permanent. Nothing is perfect.
On my fridge there is a quote that stares at me everyday...

"some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. life is about not knowing, having to change, taking a moment and making the best of it, without knwing what's going to happen next. delicious ambiguity..." - gilda radner

Sometimes it's really hard to think about it this way. We get hurt. We lose things that are precious to us. People let us down in big ways. That ambiguity looks more like disgusting insecurity than anything that could be conceived as delicious. But you know there's always something around the corner. Chapters need to close, come to an end so that new ones can open. Life is a beautiful thing. It doesn't always make sense. In fact, I'd say that a majority of the time it doesn't make any sense at all. We surround our selves with quotes and things that are tangible. A poem by Walt Whitman, A Noiseless Patient Spider, describes this:


A noiseless, patient spider,
I mark'd, where, on a little promontory, it stood, isolated;
Mark'd how, to explore the vacant, vast surrounding,
It launch'd forth filament, filament, filament, out of itself;
Ever unreeling them--ever tirelessly speeding them.

And you, O my Soul, where you stand,
Surrounded, surrounded, in measureless oceans of space,
Ceaselessly musing, venturing, throwing,--seeking the spheres, to
connect them;
Till the bridge you will need, be form'd--till the ductile anchor
hold;
Till the gossamer thread you fling, catch somewhere, O my Soul.

http://quotations.about.com/cs/poemlyrics/a/A_Noiseless_Pat.htm

When it comes down to it, I like searching, because it's amazing when that thread does connect. It's hard to leave a church and a job. Because that connection was there once. But it's not anymore. And that hurts. But it's life. And that connection will happen somewhere else. And leaving doesn't destroy all the beautiful things that happened along the way. The risk has certainly been worth the gain.